Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize
