i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
