She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
