I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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