Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
