Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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