He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
this is an emotional support booty call
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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