Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
