I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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