She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
