I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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