So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
