Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
