The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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