"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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