so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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