Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
