I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
