just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
