this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
