Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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