So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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