Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
