Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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