i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
