You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
