So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
