omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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