Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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