Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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