he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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