Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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