Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
