If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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