I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
