I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
