sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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