Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Randomize
