All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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