I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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