if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
