Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
