Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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