it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
