I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
