Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
