You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
