Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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