nut hugger
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
