who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
More tranny stories later!
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
