So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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